Slang

I'm teaching a lesson on slang right now. The biggest surprise of this lesson (and one of the biggest surprises I've experienced teaching so far) is that a vast majority of students don't know what "slang" is. By that, I mean the word "slang." They know the concept, but have never heard the actual word in their 10-odd years of learning English.

This is of course crazy to me, but also very typical. One of the biggest challenges of teaching English in HK is making English seem relevant to the students' lives. When I was in high school, I wondered why we had to learn Chemistry, a subject that taught things I felt like I had absolutely no need or desire to know. I remember using the word "pointless" a lot. Many, many students feel the same way about English here. It makes sense. Outside of school, why would a Hong Kong teenager ever have to use English?

It's my opinion that this attitude is extremely short-sighted. Although it's not fair, English proficiency is essential to go to the best universities, have the best jobs, etc. As children, however, English is only needed to pass English exams. If that's the case, why would they ever come across the term slang? You can't use most slang in formal situations, and isn't school the ultimate formal situation?

Anyway, at the end of the lesson I asked the students to teach me some Cantonese slang. Click on the pictures to enlarge the image and get practicing!



Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Thoughts on Australia

This weekend, I took some of my students on a field trip to the AFS International Fair. Exchange students from all of over the world give 15-minute presentations introducing Hong Kong students to their home countries. It's a great opportunity for my students to learn about other countries, meet new people, and use some practical English.

I was talking with some of my students near the Indian snack stand (as I'm wont to do) when a woman approached me and asked, "Are you from Australia?" I said, "No." She told me that I really sounded like I was from Australia. I told her that I was from the US and that I've never been to Australia.

This actually happens quite a bit. I've been told multiple times that I sound British, Irish, Australian, and somewhat confusingly, Jamaican. People over here don't have a great handle on the different English accents, which makes perfect sense. English isn't their first language and all of the different dialects blend together. I've been living here for a year and a half, and I can barely tell the difference between Mandarin and Cantonese.

But invariably, a simple denial doesn't work. When people get my nationality wrong, I'll usually say, "Oh, that's interesting. I'm American, though." That should be enough, right? I mean, I AM American. I don't sound Australian or British or Irish. Sure, I look a little Jamaican, but if I tell you that I'm from the USA and that I've never been to said country, shouldn't you just concede? Why push it? This lady wouldn't drop it, though. What followed was five minutes of one of the most awkward conversations of my life. It was mostly me saying things like, "I hear Australia is nice," and, "Sidney's the capital of Australia, right? Oh, it's not?" punctuated by long, painful periods where neither of us said anything. I finally told her I needed to find some students and left.

I think the moral of the story is this: People need to be more aware of their weaknesses. This lady at the AFS fair was clearly unaware that she made the world's worst dialect detective. Instead of living in denial, she should acknowledge her weakness and seek to improve herself.

My biggest weakness is that I'm too much of a perfectionist. If something's not exactly right, I want to keep working and working until it is. I need to be more willing to accept that most things in life can't be perfect. It's one thing to strive to achieve the best result possible, but if I obsess over perfection, I'll never get anything done!

What's YOUR biggest weakness? If you read this blog, leave your answer in the comments section! Does anyone read this blog?

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Shower Hopping

Well, it's winter time in Hong Kong, and I want to complain about our goddamn hot water heater. In the summer, a full water heater can get me a solid 10-12 minute hot shower. When the pipes get a little cold, like they did a couple weeks ago, 3-3.05 minutes of hot water is pretty typical.

Our hot water heater. Pretty small

These days, it seems like a bad idea to rely on a heater that only holds 18 liters of water (For those of you not used to the metric system, try to think of a liter as a smaller type of gallon). I recently tried to convince our roommates to invest in a new, bigger, stronger hot water heater, but they don't want to pony up the cash. I'm calling you guys out! Cheapskates! But if the readers of this blog know me personally, and assuredly they do, they know that I'm always thinking of new, exciting solutions to everyday problems. I'm happy to say that I've come through once again.

Our apartment has two showers that are right next to each other. Since I'm "lucky" enough to have to wake up at lest 45 minutes before my roommates every morning, I never have to compete for bathroom time. So I just heat up both, and about 3 minutes into the first shower, when the water goes ice cold, I hop to the next one, sit back, relax, and enjoy another 2-3 minutes of hot water. If I'm lucky, and I'm usually not, the first shower has heated up enough to give me a 1 minute bonus shower. At least we don't have central heat and the bathroom is freezing cold.

Dueling showers

I've turned shower hopping into quite the sensation here in Hong Kong. Anyone who's any one of my roommates is doing it! "You have the best ideas, Sam," enthused Meredeth Watson, hailing from Houston, Texas. "I shower hop all the time," said London's own Martin Middleton. "Sam's a right ol' chap for thinking of it. Cheers to him!" Taylor Schaeberg, 24, adds, "I also shower hop." Holly Sharp, 22, did not immediately answer knocks on her door when reached for comment. She may be out to dinner.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

CLIFF LEE

One of my college roommates, let's call him "Doug," used to be a Miami Heat fan. But after this off-season, which saw a large influx of Talents to Miami, Doug quit. He's not a Heat fan anymore. Most Heat fans were pretty excited when LeBron James and Chris Bosh joined Dwayne Wade in Miami, so I was pretty confused by this. Shouldn't you be happy when the team you root for ends up with two top-five players?* Apparently, Doug had been having "very mixed feelings" about The Heat for a while. He could never get past his shame of his fellow fans, clearly the worst in the NBA, if not professional sports. He pined for the Antoine Walker glory years. Plus, he really, really was going to miss Daequan Cook. So he quit on The Heat. He roots for a new team now. I'm not sure which one, but I don't really care. Why? BECAUSE DOUG IS A DOOFUS.

See, it's good when your team gets good players. Take the Phillies, for instance. They just signed Cliff Lee. This is good. I'm very happy! If I wasn't in Hong Kong, I'd call right now to renew the season tickets that I would have bought last year had I not been in Hong Kong.** The Phillies arguably have two of the top-five pitchers in baseball and four of the top-twenty. I couldn't be more thrilled!

Obviously, there are numerous differences between the Phillies and The Heat. Baseball and basketball are nothing alike. Lee didn't completely betray his fans and become the country's biggest sports villain overnight the way LeBron did. Most importantly, perhaps, the Phillies generally have good fans while The Heat have terrible ones, again generally speaking. But, there are some similarities. Both situations involved a top-five talent turning down guaranteed money (in Lee's case, quite a bit of money). In both situations, the player wanted to go play with his friends in a city he liked. Most wonderfully, both players basically told New York to eff off.

When I heard the news that Lee was headed to Philly, 99.99999999999% of me was absolutely ecstatic. The other .000004% of me, I'm ashamed to admit, had doofy "Doug" thoughts. I was a little worried that this signing continues the Phillies on a possible course of becoming the next Red Sox, who in turn were the next Yankees (at least as far as the way they assemble a mercenary team that can be tough to root for and their fan bases go). I started to notice more and more pink hats at games. The crowds could be somewhat muted. I could see empty seats after the 7th inning and before the 3rd. Could this signing be the tipping point that makes the Phillies completely unbearable?

NO! Or, perhaps I should restate: Probably not, but I DON'T CARE. The Phillies, and The Heat for that matter, both did what any reasonable fan would want them to. They did the absolute most they could to put their team in a position to win a championship. I don't about the media or general public's perception of the team. I don't care if this team is "likable." Doug's a doofus because it's CRAZY to walk out on your team after they did exactly what every other team desperately wanted to! What do the circumstances have to with it? Who cares if LeBron's kind of a prick? Will anyone be talking about The Decision in two years?

If Doug had let the national uproar over The Decision die down a little, he could have had himself a fun little team to root for. That, or he could have walked out after Fan Up. Now THAT's a reason to quit rooting for The Heat. Anyway, Doug's a doofus. That's all I really wanted to say.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee



*Pau and Kobe are one and two, respectively.

**Actually, that's not true. I would have already renewed by now.

Pop Culture

In class today, students gave presentations about an English song of their choosing. Here are the songs they shared:

"In the Morning" by the Bee Gees

"Making Love Out Of Nothing At All" by Air Supply

"On the Line" by Michael Jackson

"Stand" by Jewel

"Love Story" by Taylor Swift

"Perhaps Love" by John Denver

I continue to be baffled by my students' pop culture education. They've never heard of Bruce Springsteen, they think that Green Day's first hit was "American Idiot," and any conversation about The Who would most likely be humorous, but ultimately frustrating.

Let's consider these song choices. The Taylor Swift song makes sense since she's so popular with the young folk and whatnot. The Michael Jackson song sort of makes sense since he's so popular here, although "On the Line" goes a little deeper into his catalog than I would expect. But an obscure non-disco Bee Gees song from 1972? An equally forgotten Jewel single from her pop-vixen stage? John Denver? What gives? Why are students so in to soft rock?

Lest you think that this was an isolated incident, maybe I should mention that last year, I witnessed an entire auditorium sing along to this song:



Think back to 10th grade. If you gave a presentation about your favorite song and then played anything by Michael Learns to Rock, how many of your classmates would have known all of the words? Zero? Less than zero? Would they share your love of the Danish pop outfit? Is there a chance that you might have received some ridicule?

Getting back to my original question, one possible explanation for students' soft rock preference involves their language ability. Being non-native English speakers, students often have trouble understanding the lyrics in faster, louder songs, so they gravitate towards soft-rock and power ballads. My problem with this argument is pretty basic: Any sane person would rather lose their sense of hearing than have to listen to Michael Learns to Rock for more than 15 seconds. I'd also love to chalk up my students' odd taste in music to cultural differences, but Asian pop music isn't really similar to any of these bands.

I think the explanation is actually a little more simple. You see, I've been hitting the "streets," asking the youth what's hip and what's total grade a square city. Turns out most students don't listen to English songs unless it's for a school assignment* That John Denver song? They heard that from their S1 (approx. 6th grade) teacher. The Bee Gees? They learned that song during a class in S3. In fact, English language acts that seem to be most popular with students include Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, Avril Lavigne, and the Black Eyed Peas. As usual, I have to throw my initial assumptions totally out the window and ask a new question:

Why are teachers so into soft rock? Unfortunately, I have no idea. But hey, on second thought, Michael Learns To Rock isn't so bad, you know? I mean it's got a nice hook and it's really easy to sit back and listen to. Kind of catchy, actually.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


*Most of them prefer J-pop and K-pop. The language barrier doesn't explain this, because last time I checked, people here don't speak Japanese or Korean.

For All The Young Entrepreneurs Out There

Just finished a discussion with some S7 (approx. 12th grade) students about an article from November 2002 about the youth unemployment rate in Hong Kong. I love talking about articles that are eight years old, because digesting the news really takes some time. Tomorrow we're going to discuss United Airlines' recent bankruptcy filing.

Anyway, there's a subheading towards the end that reads, "Try the business option." The article relays the success story of Joe Chan Kwong-chun, who as a recent S7 graduate started a travel agency. I did a little research and was able to verify that the company was still in existence as recently as June, 2008. Obviously, starting a company is not easy. Luckily, the article warns that, "Youngsters [should not start a] business without careful planning." I would even extend that warning to "oldsters," as well as "middle-agedsters." Still, the article raises a good point. If you have a good idea, some money, and a plan, there are plenty of opportunities out there.

Well, I don't have any money, and god knows I don't have a plan, but as I always say, "I'm an ideas guy." Living in Hong Kong for a year has given me a unique and borderline unheard of insight to the inner-workings of the city and the local business environment.

THE REMAINDER OF THIS POST IS FOR POTENTIAL INVESTORS ONLY. INVESTORS ARE FORBIDDEN BY LAW FROM STEALING MY AMAZING IDEAS............ OR ELSE.

1) Burrito Stand. Who doesn't love Mexican food? Burritos are cheap, convenient, massive, and delicious, yet there's no Chipotle equivalent in Hong Kong. What gives?? Investors should examine the area near the Prince Edward MTR. I feel like this location is ripe for burritos.

2) Used English Book Store. I know, I know. Print is Dead. But English books are so expensive in Hong Kong, and if the books are second hand, you don't even need to print them, right? I hear that there's a big market for English literature in the Prince Edward area.

3) Bagel Shop. Ted, this is all you.* I'd suggest the Prince Edward area as your first location, preferably near my apartment, with goals of expansion in the Kwun Tong area, preferably near the school where I work.

4) A Spanish Language Newspaper. I know, I know. Print is Dead, but Hong Kong's silent but maybe existent minority deserves a voice! You can set this up wherever you want.

5) A website where people can go to buy all of their pet supplies, food, and products all from the comfort of their own homes!

Ok, that's enough ideas for today, I think. I'm singing off until next time, but remember, "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

*As some of you might remember, my business associate Ted and I once made the most half-assed attempt in the history of the world at starting a bagel shop.

Is Justin Bieber Actually a Cleverly Disguised 51-Year-Old Pedophile?

No, but during a lesson with one of my S4 (approx. 9th grade) classes, no fewer than 10 students asked me if this were true. I thought it an odd question, considering the assignment was for students to give a brief presentation on a fictional country of their own design. I told them that there's no way Justin Bieber is 51 years old, but they kept insisting they saw it on the news and I started having my doubts.*

Turns out that one of their friends had found this news report from way back (September 28, 2010) and posted it on Facebook:


Justin Bieber Found To Be Cleverly Disguised 51-Year-Old Pedophile

Now everyone in the school has seen it, and from my unofficial survey, 100% of them think it is a real news report. Since everyone who reads this blog most likely knows me personally, they also most likely know that I'm a huge fan of The Onion. I've read/heard/seen stories about people confusing an Onion article or video for an actual news report, but I never expected to have one of these misunderstandings interrupt my amazing English lesson.**

The whole incident, I think, raises a larger question: What does this say about the overall intelligence of Hong Kong students? My initial gut reaction is to say, "not a lot." Let's look at this objectively: My students don't know enough English to know the word "pedophile." So right off the bat, the most ridiculous thing in the video, the thing that makes the whole thing obviously fake, is lost on them. Many of the jokes are spoken too quickly for my students to catch, and there are no subtitles. What's left? A professional-quality news report with fairly convincing photos that aesthetically gives no clues as to being fake. The music, the anchors, the "experts" all sound and look real enough. Throw in the fact that they're probably only picking up 1 out of every 4 or 5 words, and I understand how this could confuse them.

But still. Why would anyone believe a video on YouTube that says that Justin Bieber is 51 years old from a news organization named after a vegetable? Aren't people a little internet savvy? These aren't kindergartners; these are high school kids. My measured reaction after some consideration is, "I shouldn't think too much about this, but come on guys. Use your brains."

Some conclusions:

1) Critical thinking and media literacy should be stressed more in Hong Kong schools.
2) Students should probably use a little more common sense.
3) The Onion is awesome and students in Hong Kong now know what it is and how awesome it is.
4) Students should probably use a lot more common sense.


Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.


*Probably because I'm a moron.

**I stopped the lesson to show the students the video in question, explain what The Onion is, and show them a few China related articles, as well as that video about Disney Stars being manufactured in a lab. My students aren't usually too interested in English-language pop culture, so I took the opportunity and ran with it.