My new school is baptist, so I figured I had better get ready to teach my kids all about the word of my lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Now this is just a general brainstorm, but let me know if you think that I'm on the right track:
The word of the Bible should be taken literally with no exceptions.
The only REAL Christianity is Catholicism.
No meat on the third Sabbath of every other February.
Every Baptist must be "baptized," in a ceremony called a "baptism." The ceremony occurs on or around a boy's 13th birthday (or a girl's 12th birthday) and celebrates the boy's passage into manhood. This is the first time that the boy or girl can read from the "Torah," which is a fancy word for the Christian Bible.
Sunday is Funday!
It's a sin to use condoms while having sex with students.
End with a Scientology joke to lighten things up after that last one.
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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